Is it even possible to live a life without making assumptions about others? I do not think so. When there is not enough information available, we are forced to rely on conjectures. For instance, when we meet a homeless person that behaves suspiciously, it is the power of assumption that enables us to take into consideration a possibility that the bum in question may pose a danger to our health and well-being. In essence, it is a survival mechanism that allows an individual to detect possible dangers and to quckly assess the situation at hand. What happens when we habitually make assumptions about our closest ones, however?
Before we proceed further, let me introduce you to Chrysta Bell, a singer, model, and actress, primarily known from “Twin Peaks”. Her magical self-expression and sensual grace is easily explained in astrological terms. As it turns out, she has Ketu conjunct Mercury retrograde in Pisces, which points out to her ethereal, almost mystical music. Venus as her Atmakaraka (a planet that signifies her soul’s main purpose) joined with exalted Sun in Aries create an interesting combination of confidence and charm. Chrysta Bell’s Moon is also very strong in Shadbala (planetary strength). The icing on the cake? Chrysta Bell is a fellow stargazer! The lyrics of her songs are abound with celestial references.
As every enthusiast of astrology knows, Mercury is the main planet associated with rational, objective, and logical thinking. A good natal Mercury gives investigative abilities and powers of right discernment and organisation. Using this planet’s energy, an individual makes decisions based on carefully evaluated available data. He or she is unlikely to be cheated or taken advantage of, which is essential in all types of business partnerships. A person with strong Mercury is willing to ask questions or to gather more information before forming a definitive opinion on any topic. Withholding judgement until all the facts are known is something we should all strive for. What if the required data is lacking, however?
I have found out that Mercurial traits of investigation and rational evaluation are not always useful in close friendships and romantic relationships. They are not fully applicable in parent-child interactions, either. The world of intimate togetherness is too complex to be analysed only through logical faculties. If you are in a relationship and your significant other is feeling drained, frustrated, or otherwise unwell, then you probably know that investigation and research are very often of no use here. What happens when a person is unable to explain why they feel or behave in a particular way? As soon as intellectual assessment proves to be ineffective, partners, close friends, or parents resort to making assumptions, which immediately produce blame, misunderstanding, and other undesirable states. It is so easy to call someone stupid, insensitive, or lazy if we rely on just a few bits and pieces of possibly misleading and incomplete information. For instance, there could be dozens of reasons why a teenager has not managed to finish their homework or chores. Lashing out and deeming him or her lazy, stubborn and unintelligent is not a very reasonable course of action.
In order to introduce more empathy and harmony into our relationships, we need to utilise the traits of two feminine planets — Venus and the Moon. They represent completely different types of discriminative intelligence. A person with strong natal Venus is not just diplomatic, charming, and refined in their daily life, but also able to read between the lines. With the aid of Venus, we can understand someone’s real feelings or intentions by deducing a meaning that is hidden or implied rather than being openly stated. After all, Venus rules poetry. The Moon is a planet of inner knowing and intuitive discrimination, which are other factors that facilitate healthy communication in intimate relationships. Moreover, using its feminine and nurturing energy, we can make our significant other feel accepted and taken care of before we even ask any questions or form judgements. For instance, a parent with prominent lunar influence who wants to question a child on some difficult topic makes sure that their offspring coming home from school receives a heart-warming hug and some nourishing food first. When a child feels accepted and loved at home, their communication with parents is more likely to be open and harmonious.
There is no doubt that having a well-placed Mercury is very useful in professional and official situations. To some degree, it can also help us understand each other in more informal settings. Yet there is something powerful about men and women who utilise inner knowing, grace, and nurturing in their intimate relationships. Even though Chrysta Bell’s Mercury is debilitated in Pisces, its retrogradation and conjunction with Ketu transform the rational intellect of Mercury, making it more intuitive, introverted, and sublime. Whenever I listen to Chrysta’s songs, I can immediately feel empathy, grace, and intuitive intellect, which permeate her entire inner being.